To the Limit

In setting out a schedule and goals for myself today, I was thinking about an observation from a CRM colleague in South Africa.  He pointed out that most Westerners operate in a crazy breakneck cycle of solid work followed by a solid escape, break(down?) or vacation. 

There's no point in my wasting even a second pretending that I haven't done precisely that on MULTIPLE occasions.  So I started wondering why?  The first thing that came to mind was a pride in knowing my limits-- just how much I can take-- and a twisted, determined frugality that doesn't want to waste that capacity.  I do the same daredevil stunt with my car's gas tank.  (Yes, daredevil in my life involves some gasoline in a hose and a debit card.)  I like to get the tank as empty as possible before I stop to refuel.  Not at a half- or quarter-tank, but plumb empty.  And after 8 years with my Corolla, I know pretty well when that is.  Stopping earlier is somehow a capitulation, a confession of weakness and uncertainty.

With my life and with my car, I calculate according to an endpoint-- a limit.  Sure, I can do 4 days with less sleep.  I can handle a nonstop schedule for a week, right?  I can keep offering to help out-- as long as I haven't hit my end yet. 

But I have a feeling that abundant life is not found at the edge of a stranded breakdown.  So I'm looking for a rhythm of frequent refueling, and I'm lifting my gaze from that bottom line.  For surely, surely, satisfaction stems from things more profound than making it to the red E.