Lenten Belovedness

During those 40 days of preparation, [Jesus,] your soul was nourished and your belovedness deeply affirmed. You were not alone in the wilderness. With such a clear sense of belonging, you were immovable, unshakable.

Just read this in CRM's Lent Devotional (Day 4), and it struck me in a new way: what the time of preparation in Lent can be about.  Not just deprivation.  Not just clearing things out of your life.  (Those things can be vital, as well.)  But also nourishment.  A different kind of nourishment, far removed from power bars and scrambled eggs.  The nourishment of Lent is God's love.  


You and I are called to great and marvelous things.  But we are called to God first.  We are called to God's love.  We are prepared for all kinds of wonderful possibilities-- yes, through training and difficult preparation, but more directly through deep belonging in Jesus as he leads us to his Father.


May this Lenten season nourish your soul and affirm that you are God's beloved.  From there, may you find immovable, unshakeable mission.

Personal / Professional

In some ways, this season of life has brought clearer boundaries for ministry and my personal life.  Clearly, my fiancé is not my work project, and as much as he supports what I do, he patiently asks that I put work aside when I'm "off the clock," so to speak.  Yes, I have protested: "There is no clock for ministry!"  Everything is a potential opening and everyone a possible colleague.  Yet, exhaustion and disillusionment had begun to creep into a life of working all the time.

Slowly, I stepped back.  I realized how much I needed to rest.  I realized how many things I did out of professional ministry obligation -- especially things that, from the outside, probably looked social and fun. How many gatherings I would go to because I'm a natural networker, because I need to know people in the city, because I thought there might be a lead to pursue for future ministry, because I am truly a dork and think it might be kind of fun to talk about urban development strategies.  Yet, with more and more to occupy my personal time, I had to crack down and be honest with myself.  Am I doing this because it's fun, or because it's strategic, or even because I think I need to work more?

In a recent newsletter, I mentioned stopping to take stock of what ministry GOD had prepared for me.  Though it sounds obvious, it has been significant for me to stop trying so hard to plot and earn and administrate my time doing ministry.  (Take a quick look at Ephesians 2:10.)  God didn't do what I expected.  God pointed me towards downtown and its marginalized populations.  God invited me not just to serve on a team in CRM, but to lead one.  God gave me a place to not only belong in worship on Sundays, but to invite others to find home and community as well (future blog post: Sunday night worship services, explained).

What that has to do with personal and professional boundaries... is that despite all the books, essays and advice on the subject, I am am learning to trust that God can lay out those lines.  It turns out that God shepherds me well, when I stop being headstrong and trying to plot things for myself.

So I try not to mentally calculate my hours too often.  Sometimes it's helpful to keep myself accountable and have an idea of what I'm putting into my job.  However, it gets dicey when I start wondering if the conversation with the gardener on the street corner "counts" for work.  I don't want to be caught in thinking that I'm either banking time or wasting it when I chat with my neighbor or I pray with a friend or I send an email to a pastor I know.  The bottom line is that God is fully capable and fully understanding of what I need.  God appreciates good, hard work, but He also appreciates a woman who knows she's not the Creator, that she needs to rest, and that even missionaries take days off.

Blah Blah Blogging

I can get off track easily.  No sooner have I typed the first line of a blog (for example) than suddenly I remember three other things I need to search for in my inbox.  Contact info, touching base, reminding someone of something to be done.  The scattered focus has become all too common.  And then, here I am, a month later, so many potential blog entries come and gone.  So much 'normal' life that I meant to share.

Here goes.  Setting the bar.  Aiming for more than one short entry each week.  There is definitely that much to talk (type) about--- and more.